Ask August: Dear Stupid Friend


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Hi August. I have two best friends, a guy and a girl, that have been dating for 2 years. A few weeks ago I found out the guy has been cheating on the girl since the start of the semester. I thought about telling her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to be the one to tell her such heartbreaking news. Last week, she asked me if he was cheating on her. I said he wasn’t. I know it was wrong, but I’m friends with him too, and I didn’t want to break up our friend group. She found out anyway, and has said she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. I regret not telling her. August, do you have any ideas on how to get my friend back?” – Stupid Friend 

Dear Stupid Friend,

Losing friends is hard, especially when they are best friends. I suggest that you try to reach out to her and let her know that you felt it wasn’t your place and did not want to cause any conflict. Allow your friend to take the time to emotionally heal because break-ups truly stink. You also need to acknowledge what happened, and admit to her that you know you were in the wrong. Do not act as if by not telling her was to prevent anything going south. Take into consideration your own feelings: would you have wanted to know if your partner was cheating on you?

Give your friend a sincere apology and inform them of the regret you have from hurting them. Be honest with yourself as well, realizing that by not taking her feelings into consideration was not the right thing to do in this situation. I suggest writing down everything to organize your thoughts before making a sincere apology – do not just dump empty excuses and apologies.

If you become friends again, spend time together. Try to make plans for healthy, bonding activities. A paint night would be a great way to unwind and allow you and your friend to rekindle your friendship. Let your friend know that you will always be here for them.

I hope this helps and you two become friends again! 

Need advice? Ask August!