People say that “drunk words are sober thoughts,” but that does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. Just like hairdressers, bartenders get the inside scoop about a person’s life. People either go to have a drink and get deep in conversation, or they go for twenty drinks and accidentally announce their secrets. And bartenders tend to remember. 

When I first moved to Cleveland, my friends introduced me to this fun spot right next to the Cotton House Hotel; a place called 301. Little did I know that 301 would be my go-to place on the weekends, and not only did I make friends with other 301 regulars, but I happened to make friends with bartenders Logan Callow and Jon Gore as well. 

As our friendships progressed, I would get to hear about their regular nights at work. They told me stories about the bar manager who opened a concert for a famous country singer, the woman who brought her pet monkey, the guy who broke a pool stick over a bad game– stories I never knew existed in real life. 

Dirty Secrets and Dirty Martinis

“As a bartender in a small town, you see many things and learn many secrets,” Callow says. “We notice things from you hitting on three different people to how cheap your fake ID looks.” 

Even though they’re interesting enough, those aren’t the whiskey secrets that can make one spill their drink.

“There are many times where I’ve had to cut off some prominent people of Cleveland because they were causing too much of a scene,” Callow says. “One girl, who’s the daughter of one lawyer here, kept trying to steal one lady’s pet monkey. We kept having to chase her around the bar to get her to stop! It’s really embarrassing when I have to do that kind of stuff.”

Chasing drunk people around the bar isn’t the only crazy thing these bartenders have witnessed.

“The most embarrassing thing I’ve witnessed was when a couple walked in once and the girl ended up leaving with another guy,” Gore says. “The first guy had no idea.” 

Wine Sipping Stories

Other than the juicy drama, these guys end up meeting the craziest people you’d never expect to meet.

“One time when I was working at Bar Fontaine, Southern Halos came in to drink,” Gore says. “I started talking to them and getting to know them, and we ended up becoming good friends! Now every so often they come into 301 to drink and invite me to come to hang out with them at their house here for an after-party!”

How to Earn an Extra Shot

There are many old wives’ tales on bar etiquette such as underage people shouldn’t order White Claws or how people should never shoot warm, well tequila. However, there are many things that go above people’s heads.

“Never scream, cuss or try to grab the bartender to get their attention,” Gore says. “It’s annoying, and chances are we’ll just ignore you until the very end.”

From first-hand experience, it’s insane how many people think it’s a good idea to scream at the bartender for a drink. Patience is a virtue.

“It’s so funny when people come in with fake ID’s with a false name. The second your friend calls you by another name, you’ve been busted and you’re out,” Callow says.

Another trick I learned that bartenders hate is those people who pregame.

“Pregaming is cheap and all, but you have to be careful with it. If you come into the bar completely drunk, we have the right to remove you from the property,” Callow says.

Last Call

Bars are such an exciting experience for people to get together and make fun memories in. They are also so much more than just a place to have fun, Friday nights – because you never know who you may meet. Next time you go, mingle with new people and get to know the atmosphere because I promise you, the bartenders already have. 

And who knows? Your next drink may be on the house!