The Delta Statement

See what changes as Blonde Bombshell Officer Rose Clancy graces headlines from 1957 to 2073.

Satire: Trans Representation in the Media Since 1957

Naia M. Lanton, Columnist/Da Editor March 8, 2023

1957: Former Virginia State Trooper Becomes “Absolute Smokeshow” Now known as Rose Clancy by friends and relatives, Clancy says she “always knew she was different from other boys” and stated that...

Cookies under soft lighting

The Best Ooey-Gooey Triple Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies Guaranteed to be Better Than Your Mother Made!

Riley Stembridge, Publisher May 4, 2022

If you’re alive on this planet earth, then you’ve had a chocolate chip cookie. But I can assure you, these cookies are better than any other cookie! A buttery soft cookie packed full of chocolate!...

Employees have to deal with “Karens”, disrespectful individuals, and disturbances just for doing their job.

Endearing Yelp Reviews

Canderrian Brown, Social Media May 4, 2022

Food tastes as if a rat made it! ★☆☆☆☆ Michael B. said… This is for Lawrence, you understanding, patient, hardworking, stressed-out, underpaid and job-experienced loser! I come into...

(Image from Cranbourne Secondary College Pedagogy Toolbox)

The Professional Critics are Always Right

Bill Schmidt, Professional Movie Critic April 29, 2022

People always say that these days, everyone’s a critic. That is simply not true. Sure, people might express their opinions about their “favorite” things, but that does not make them a critic. Instead,...

Fortnite is one of the most popular video games in the world.

College Freshman Prepares for Final at 3 a.m. by Playing Fortnite

Harrison Seeley, Literary Journal April 27, 2022

Going to college is one of the biggest transitions in life. It can also be difficult balancing school, work and personal life.  Not so much for 18 year old Cody Topper. Head in the Game “My friends...

The Electoral Daycare

The Electoral Daycare

Jack Vernon, Social Media Manager November 18, 2020

The week of Nov. 3, 2020, was an interesting one to say the least. That was the week I began my time at the Electoral Daycare. The Electoral Daycare is a very special preschool daycare that only admits...

Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton facing off as the last two competitors in the 2016 Democratic Rumble match.

Satire: Democratic Rumble

Ryan Rutledge, Copy Editor April 23, 2019

Every four years bring the most exciting wrestling match, the Royal Rumble. This year, 30 democrats will enter the match for an opportunity to face the world champion, Donald Trump. Many democrats have...

Satire: World War Borderlands 3

Satire: World War Borderlands 3

Eli Inman, Copy Editor April 23, 2019

Gearbox Studios, creators of the insanely popular video game series Borderlands, have been under fire after the recent reveal of the newest addition to the franchise, Borderlands 3.   The backlash...

Satire: Top 5 Tips to Becoming a Beauty-Trending YouTuber

Satire: Top 5 Tips to Becoming a Beauty-Trending YouTuber

Hollie Williams, Publisher April 23, 2019

Number One: A camera! And not just any ol’ camera. Most successful YouTubers shell out anywhere between $200 to $2000 in recording equipment. But if you are low on cash, just use your cellphone camera!...

Satire: I like how you said that.

Satire: I like how you said that.

Ms. Interpreted April 23, 2019

Controversy broke out this week at Delta State University over the comments on a discussion board post.   When the professor assigned the weekly discussion question to her Biology 101 class,...

Satire: Get Rich Quick: Carhop at Sonic

Satire: Get Rich Quick: Carhop at Sonic

Ember April 23, 2019

Need great money fast? Work as a carhop at Sonic! The position is now open! Are you trying to pay off your college debt? What about your monthly rent? Or, maybe you’re just looking for a replacement...

Satire: Silly Professors

Satire: Silly Professors

Jonathan Boles, Photography April 23, 2019

As finals quickly approach, the pressure is really on for most college students. Every time I am around my classmates, they are constantly complaining about all the work they have to do. The joke is on...