How to Flunk Your Exams!

The Four Qualities You Need to Succeed at Failing


Alvin Hikmawan via Pixabay

Kick success to the curb with these tips–guaranteed to help you fail!

It’s that time of year again when everyone’s wondering the same thing… How do I flunk my exams? No need to fret. This article is going to tell you everything you need to know to be the best that you can be at failing!

Let’s get started!

When it comes to failing an exam, you could use a few qualities such as fear, laziness, determination and confidence. 

1. Fear

You must possess the fear of succeeding. I’m not talking fear of success because you doubt you will succeed, or you fear success because “Oh, I don’t know, things are just going too suspiciously well right now, I feel like I should have my guard up.” 

No, I’m talking “ten missed calls from mom” fear. I’m talking “incorrect password” fear. That’s how scared you should be of being successful. You will be surprised at the many exams you will fail if you just fear success.  

2. Laziness

You must be lazy. Very lazy. So lazy that if your house was on fire, you would rather sit in there and burn to death than go to the nearest door. So lazy that you make Garfield look like Lebron James. 

Okay, okay this is a serious matter. Getting back on track, you must be lazy in order to flunk an exam. An example would be to put off what you can do today to the day of the test, such as studying or “cramming” the day of. 

Always remember, the due date is indeed the do date. 

3. Determination

Determination is very much needed when thinking about failing. You must be strong when the teacher is teaching. This means when your professor is teaching or when he announces that he is about to give you a few questions on the exam, you need determination not to take out that paper and pen. 

You need determination to go into that classroom and waste every second of your time. You know, have the will to fail. Turn down those study group invitations. 

4. Confidence

This brings us to the final quality, confidence. Confidence is key, people. You must have confidence to be able to sit in your class looking like a knot on a log. The only one in the class not taking notes. The only one always going into class 30 minutes late. The only one who might even just leave their backpack every single day. 

Who cares what other people think right? Are they paying for your tuition? Certainly not. If I were you, I wouldn’t let those tryhards get to me.