The Delta Statement

Under New Management

Under New Management

October 4, 2019

For the first time in seven years, a man not named Jim Boone will be coaching the men's basketball team for Delta State University. Coach Mike Nienaber will take over for the Statesmen and is looking forward to the challenge of picking up right where Coach Boone left off last March.  The Delta Statement set out to interview Coa...

Student Transportation around Cleveland

Student Transportation around Cleveland

October 3, 2019

Delta State University (DSU) has a lot to offer their students, but some say the campus is missing student transportation.  Not every student has a ride to get around town. Some students are left relying on friends, but friends are not always reliable.  There are many international students who attend DSU without a vehicle, and they ha...

Lawler-Harkins: Stairs, Stairs and More Stairs

Lawler-Harkins: Stairs, Stairs and More Stairs

October 3, 2019

Lawler-Harkins, one of Delta State’s oldest residence dorms on campus, is a three-story building with no elevator. Lawler-Harkins’ stairs are steep and narrow with low railings which have raised questions for Delta State. Shania Mugford, a resident in Lawler-Harkins for two years, states, “I don’t feel comfortable enoug...

Satire: Democratic Rumble

Satire: Democratic Rumble

April 23, 2019

Every four years bring the most exciting wrestling match, the Royal Rumble. This year, 30 democrats will enter the match for an opportunity to face the world champion, Donald Trump. Many democrats have announced their place in the match-up this year. 18 competitors have already claimed their spot in the rumble--all of them hopi...

Satire: World War Borderlands 3

Satire: World War Borderlands 3

April 23, 2019

Gearbox Studios, creators of the insanely popular video game series Borderlands, have been under fire after the recent reveal of the newest addition to the franchise, Borderlands 3.   The backlash of the community was not brought on by the game reveal but was instead sparked by the announcement that Borderlands 3 ...

Satire: Top 5 Tips to Becoming a Beauty-Trending YouTuber

Satire: Top 5 Tips to Becoming a Beauty-Trending YouTuber

April 23, 2019

Number One: A camera! And not just any ol’ camera. Most successful YouTubers shell out anywhere between $200 to $2000 in recording equipment. But if you are low on cash, just use your cellphone camera! Upgrade to the latest iPhone and invest in a phone case with a lousy kickstand or pop-socket and you’re almost there. &...

High Horses

High Horses

April 23, 2019

The smell of air would be rancid to city folk, but to me it smells like making sweet memories. My old boots slip in the mud as I walk past the arena with my lead rope tight in hand. I hear the announcer call out the name of a contestant, and horse and rider shoot out of the gates to make their clover-leaf pattern around the ...

Satire: I like how you said that.

Satire: I like how you said that.

April 23, 2019

Controversy broke out this week at Delta State University over the comments on a discussion board post.   When the professor assigned the weekly discussion question to her Biology 101 class, she never imagined the debate would get so heated.   “I had students coming to my office in tears,” cites the frazzled professor. ...

Satire: Get Rich Quick: Carhop at Sonic

Satire: Get Rich Quick: Carhop at Sonic

April 23, 2019

Need great money fast? Work as a carhop at Sonic! The position is now open! Are you trying to pay off your college debt? What about your monthly rent? Or, maybe you’re just looking for a replacement job so you don’t have to get a degree at all? At Sonic Drive In, you can do just that! There are so many benefits to work...

Satire: Silly Professors

Satire: Silly Professors

April 23, 2019

As finals quickly approach, the pressure is really on for most college students. Every time I am around my classmates, they are constantly complaining about all the work they have to do. The joke is on them. If only they were perfect students like myself; they would not have anything to worry about. You see, the trick i...