The Delta Statement

Satire: A Dream Come True

Satire: A Dream Come True

Trey Wright, Publisher April 22, 2019

Last Saturday, fans of the local football team, The Sixty Niners, were in rage over the heartbreaking defeat from their long-time rivals, the Boston Crabs. Many fans point the blame on the recently recruited...

Satire: The Elusive Education Major

Satire: The Elusive Education Major

Jane Evans April 19, 2019

These species of college students are quickly becoming endangered.   This will be an investigation into what education majors are and what could be contributing to their impending extension.   Our...

Satire: The Orange T-shirt Militia and Their Orange Signs

Satire: The Orange T-shirt Militia and Their Orange Signs

athletikchik123 April 19, 2019

The orange signs made their return weeks ago, and this year they were scarier and brighter than ever. Every year the loud, orange, fluorescent signs take over the Delta State campus reminding students...

Satire: Tips on How Not To Study For Finals:

Satire: Tips on How Not To Study For Finals:

Jasmine McGill, Social Media April 19, 2019

Chances are You Have No Chance, Especially If You Are Reading This Article If you’re looking for ways to better prepare yourself for final exams, then chances are you are looking in the wrong places....

Absentee Student Surprised by Low Grades

Absentee Student Surprised by Low Grades

Erika Coleman, Copy Editor April 18, 2019

Billy Buck thought everything was going well in his classes at Delta State until he was surprised with a paper due date which urged him to check Canvas to find that he had a D in all his classes. He came...

Bread, Bath, and Beyond: Olive Garden Announces Newest Product Line

Bread, Bath, and Beyond: Olive Garden Announces Newest Product Line

Sadie R. Ritter April 18, 2019

Fans of semi-affordable Italian cuisine will rejoice at Olive Garden’s newest announcement. On April 15, Olive Garden announced their upcoming line of bath bombs. Fans of unlimited breadsticks will...

Satire: “Winter Wasteland in the Delta”

Satire: “Winter Wasteland in the Delta”

Ryan Rutledge, Social Media February 5, 2019

Students of DSU were going through an ordinary week for a college student when disaster struck in the middle of the week. On Wednesday, Nov. 14, 2018, students were frightened to look out of their windows...

Satire: Fake News Gone Rogue

Satire: Fake News Gone Rogue

Riley Hardin, Publisher February 5, 2019

It appears as though fake news has taken to new heights in an attempt to bring down President Trump and his staff. Recently, CNN White House Correspondent Jim Acosta attacked a young White House intern...

What does your Zodiac have in store for you?

Satire: Horoscopes

Kjirsten Whitsell, Editor in Chief February 5, 2019

Aries (Mar 20 – Apr 20) Don’t reach for unrealistic goals. You’re under 5’3”, so reaching that top shelf is going to be difficult. Taurus (Apr 20 – May 21) Just because your sign...

Satire: “Do the Least, Get the Most”

Satire: “Do the Least, Get the Most”

Jonathan Boles, Photography February 5, 2019

It’s finals season at Delta State University, and for many students, stress levels are peaking. However, 19-year-old freshman, Calvin McKinney, could not be more relaxed. McKinney, a Southern American...

English majors riot.

Satire: Chaos on the Delta State Campus

Chris Kalil, Da / Events February 5, 2019

After an unknown incitement, English majors all over the Delta State Campus are acting erratically and violently. The violence continues for the fourth consecutive week. The initial incident happened on...