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The student news site of Delta State University

The Delta Statement

The student news site of Delta State University

The Delta Statement

The student news site of Delta State University

The Delta Statement

Satire: World War Borderlands 3

Satire: World War Borderlands 3

Eli Inman, Copy Editor April 23, 2019

Gearbox Studios, creators of the insanely popular video game series Borderlands, have been under fire after the recent reveal of the newest addition to the franchise, Borderlands 3.   The backlash...

Satire: Top 5 Tips to Becoming a Beauty-Trending YouTuber

Satire: Top 5 Tips to Becoming a Beauty-Trending YouTuber

Hollie Williams, Publisher April 23, 2019

Number One: A camera! And not just any ol’ camera. Most successful YouTubers shell out anywhere between $200 to $2000 in recording equipment. But if you are low on cash, just use your cellphone camera!...

Satire: I like how you said that.

Satire: I like how you said that.

Ms. Interpreted April 23, 2019

Controversy broke out this week at Delta State University over the comments on a discussion board post.   When the professor assigned the weekly discussion question to her Biology 101 class,...

Satire: Get Rich Quick: Carhop at Sonic

Satire: Get Rich Quick: Carhop at Sonic

Ember April 23, 2019

Need great money fast? Work as a carhop at Sonic! The position is now open! Are you trying to pay off your college debt? What about your monthly rent? Or, maybe you’re just looking for a replacement...

Satire: Silly Professors

Satire: Silly Professors

Jonathan Boles, Photography April 23, 2019

As finals quickly approach, the pressure is really on for most college students. Every time I am around my classmates, they are constantly complaining about all the work they have to do. The joke is on...

Satire: Kim Kardashian to the Rescue

Satire: Kim Kardashian to the Rescue

Love Jones, Social Media April 23, 2019

In this week’s news, Kim Kardashian decides to take on another career venture. No, it’s not new KKW beauty products, it’s becoming a lawyer. In 2018, the Kardashian helped 63-year-old Cyntonia...

Satire: A Dream Come True

Satire: A Dream Come True

Trey Wright, Publisher April 22, 2019

Last Saturday, fans of the local football team, The Sixty Niners, were in rage over the heartbreaking defeat from their long-time rivals, the Boston Crabs. Many fans point the blame on the recently recruited...

Satire: The Elusive Education Major

Satire: The Elusive Education Major

Jane Evans April 19, 2019

These species of college students are quickly becoming endangered.   This will be an investigation into what education majors are and what could be contributing to their impending extension.   Our...

Satire: The Orange T-shirt Militia and Their Orange Signs

Satire: The Orange T-shirt Militia and Their Orange Signs

athletikchik123 April 19, 2019

The orange signs made their return weeks ago, and this year they were scarier and brighter than ever. Every year the loud, orange, fluorescent signs take over the Delta State campus reminding students...

Satire: Tips on How Not To Study For Finals:

Satire: Tips on How Not To Study For Finals:

Jasmine McGill, Social Media April 19, 2019

Chances are You Have No Chance, Especially If You Are Reading This Article If you’re looking for ways to better prepare yourself for final exams, then chances are you are looking in the wrong places....

Absentee Student Surprised by Low Grades

Absentee Student Surprised by Low Grades

Erika Coleman, Copy Editor April 18, 2019

Billy Buck thought everything was going well in his classes at Delta State until he was surprised with a paper due date which urged him to check Canvas to find that he had a D in all his classes. He came...

Bread, Bath, and Beyond: Olive Garden Announces Newest Product Line

Bread, Bath, and Beyond: Olive Garden Announces Newest Product Line

Sadie R. Ritter April 18, 2019

Fans of semi-affordable Italian cuisine will rejoice at Olive Garden’s newest announcement. On April 15, Olive Garden announced their upcoming line of bath bombs. Fans of unlimited breadsticks will...