Satire: Trans Representation in the Media Since 1957


Naia M. Lanton

See what changes as “Blonde Bombshell” Officer Rose Clancy graces headlines from 1957 to 2073.

1957: Former Virginia State Trooper Becomes “Absolute Smokeshow”

Now known as Rose Clancy by friends and relatives, Clancy says she “always knew she was different from other boys” and stated that she never really fit in in the neighborhood where she grew up. 

While serving in Germany she said that Pvt. Sam Briggs was “quite instrumental in helping her come to terms with who she was” and that he was the one who helped her realize that she “was a woman trapped in a man’s body.”

Long time friend, Briggs commented, calling her an “absolute smokeshow” and “a real looker, a bombshell.” 

When reintroduced to her precinct, other officers were all reported to have generally positive reactions. One officer was even said to have said, “what a woman.” Other officers cheered and whistled, some loosening their collars. 

Officer Jones told reporters, “If I ever go back to war, I want a woman like that by my bedside, I tell ya what.” 

1997: Ex Police officer comes out as ‘Transsexual 

After returning from desert storm, Officer Clancy decided that it was finally time to have a “Sex Change Operation” and now goes by “Rose.” S/he reportedly chose that name after her late grandmother, whom she said used to dress her up like a girl. 

According to psychologist Dr. Jordan Pfesser, “It’s perfectly normal for little boys to dress up as women they admire. The transsexual phenomenon isn’t well understood, but it isn’t inherently harmful for men to explore their sexuality this way.”

“If a man considers himself to be a woman, then it is only harmful when other’s indulge these fantasies in a non-sexual context.” Dr. Pfesser also stated that such a thing was always within a sexual context. 

When “Rose” returned to her former precinct, s/he was met with mixed reactions. Some who preferred not to be named, referred to it in private as “kinda hot.” Others expressed apathy. 

“I can’t say I get it, but if it makes him happy, it makes him happy,” said Officer Jones. 

Longtime friend Sam Briggs said he’d known for some time. 

“She’s beautiful” said Briggs. “She’s finally happy.” 

Briggs has denied that he was a homosexual, despite his close personal relationship with Clancy. Both were discharged from the military in 1995, following Clancy’s “coming out.” 

2017 : Police Officer Serving Up Divine Feminine Realness

Rose Clancy (35) initially came  out as transgender back in 2007, but didn’t begin her transitioning until after touring in Afghanistan. 

Post-tour, she returned to her position as a highway patrol in Roanoke VA, but retired in early 2013 to pursue her transition.

She recently reintroduced herself to her old precinct and was met with little support. Some openly called her slurs like “Shemale” and “Tranny.” 

Officer Jones said “I always knew something was off– frankly I don’t trust their kind.” Jones wouldn’t comment further and quickly ended the interview. 

Author and Psychologist, Dr. Jordan Pfesser called Clancy “an affront to God” and “another example of the liberal agenda.” 

2073: Highway Organization Officers Brighten Up Traffic Jam with Cookies. 

H2O. Rose (she/they) cheered up an otherwise bleak Tuesday morning traffic jam by riding car to car on her airboard offering a variety of homemade cookies. 

She said that she’d been trying out various gluten free recipes for her daughter and had an “excess of cookies.” When they heard about the traffic jam on US Skyway 631, she immediately saw an opportunity to help. 

Her Partner, Ion (he/it) and husband Sam (he/him) said that Rose has always enjoyed helping people. Sam dated the tendency back to their time in DAS (Domestic Affairs Service). 

“She always bends over backwards to help people,” Sam said. 

Ion agreed and added that, “she’s a helper. It’s what she does.”

Other stories from the week: 

  • Jordan Pfesser ordered to return to social counseling after antisemitic remarks toward Northeastern District Pres. Stacy Braff
  • Rev. Sophia Umber to open up first Hecatean temple in Southwest District.
  • Mx. Amythist Wind’s hit album goes platinum for a second time.