Number One Fact

People who say small towns are wonderful are dirty, filthy liars. Yes, small towns have their perks, but have you had the chance to escape Cleveland for a weekend? I’m talking about somewhere fun, exotic, and thrilling–not a day trip to the city or going up the road.

Recently, my boyfriend and I took a trip to St. Louis, Mo., and this one went a lot better than last semester’s because he’s a decent human being and doesn’t deserve the power of slander that I can create. But that’s beside the point.

We had a wonderful trip to a big city outside Mississippi–and yes, I am that person who still talks about their vacation 10 years later. So, possibly, I can persuade you to go on a trip, too.

We woke up at 6:00 in the morning to start our journey with a six-hour drive. I had just turned 21, so you better believe I wanted to get brunch and have someone ID me because the number one fact about small towns is: everyone knows you enough to not ID you. 

Number Two Fact

We got in the car and drove to Missouri with my very original playlist, “Drivin and Vibin.”

We had brunch at the cutest restaurant that has the best damn crepes, ahi tuna, and whatever else. Number two fact about small towns: they don’t have crepes. Besides the crepes, everything else was enchanting, too. 

We went to St. Charles for the day, a town made COMPLETELY of brick. You should forget Madison, Miss. It is garbage compared to St. Charles. I’m talking about buildings, sidewalks, and roads! They were all made with this glowing red brick! I was mesmerized. 

There was a store that sold homemade olive oil and cocktails MADE WITH BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE! That’s something not a lot of people can say they’ve tried–and it wasn’t all that bad, either. 

I’d give their Moscow Mules an 8/10 – Joanna, the Experienced Moscow Drinker. 

Number Three Fact

The next day, we drove 45 minutes to the big city itself, St. Louis. We decided to check out University City, a long block of the neatest restaurants, shops, and other stores that would catch anyone’s attention. My boyfriend even got to try Boba tea for the first time, and I bought a vinyl!!

We spent the day going into all these unique stores. I wanted to purchase everything, especially since everything was so reasonably priced. Number three fact about small towns: everything’s so damn expensive!

For dinner, we decided to meet up with some of his friends at an “all you can eat” sushi restaurant. I’m not talking about a Sakura or that crap, I mean a freshly made sushi roll every time you order. 

The down-fall of these large cities is that it’s a pain to find parking. In order to park, we had to find a parking garage. We found one close to the restaurant and decided to park in it, because what can go wrong? 

It went horribly wrong. 

We never found the proper exit to this garage. I hoped to God we wouldn’t get killed by some ax murder as we were wandering around. We went through hallways and doors in this labyrinth of a parking garage to finally get out through some back door.

On the bright side, I found this baby doll with a cigarette in its mouth on the sidewalk. 

After dinner, we walked back to the garage to find its doors shut. There were no signs stating what time the garage closes, and my boyfriend couldn’t just leave his car there all night! We searched around the garage for a possible entrance, and we finally found a door that required a lot of force to open. 

Pulling a B&E, nice. 

We had to jump a railing in the garage’s stairwell to get to the car’s floor, wandering around this realm of Hell to finally leave. The gate opened as soon as we pulled up, and we hauled ass.

Number Four Fact

We decided to go to the aquarium on our last day because this girl has a fascination with fish. I’ll be entertained for hours at PetSmart!

Turns out, you need an appointment for the aquarium because COVID. I was disappointed. We could’ve been over with this pandemic. If people just wore their damn masks then we could’ve seen the fish.

 Luckily, they still allowed us to ride the giant Ferris Wheel. We decided on seafood for lunch before heading out. Before finding a restaurant that wasn’t jammed-packed, it took three trips .

The restaurant had a great vibe! The atmosphere was cool, and the food smelled amazing from the kitchen. Everything on the menu was listed as “market price,” which was an overlooked red flag.

“You should get the crab legs, babe,” my boyfriend persuaded me. “I know how much you love crab legs, and I don’t mind!” 

You best DAMN believe I ordered crab legs. The waitress said that it would be $25 for the crab and $35 for lobster. She must have meant $25 to look at them because those three crab legs ended up being $74! I didn’t even get the whole cluster! It didn’t even taste expensive! 

Number four fact about small towns: they don’t have $74 crab legs. 

Time to Unpack

In the end, it was an amazing trip. Never did I think I would have the opportunity to travel in college. For those who have thought about it–just do it! You’ll get to experience so many things you never thought you could at a young age. Grab your best friend, partner, or whoever you think would make the adventure exciting!