Self-Love: No One Can Do It For You

Love is the closest thing we as humans have to magic. There’s a mystery to its attraction, a secret to its mastery and a yearning for its possession. 

Sadly, the tragedy of people falling out of love is not uncommon, but the love stories we pay attention to are the ones that seem like they will never end. 

“Nothing lasts forever,” they say, that first word supposedly standing as the barrier for the unconditional good stuff we are all born wanting and needing: real love. 

Yes, real love from our parents, from our loved ones and friends, and most importantly, the love of a soulmate, and one-day, future offspring. We need it. We thrive on it. 

It’s an irreplaceable sensation, the physical, subconscious tug on your heart that confirms that connection. That deep, unknown abyss of floating butterflies and mild headaches. The golden, bittersweet nugget of emotion.

Love takes work; it’s not supposed to be easy if it’s worth having at all. 

Love is a quality, an emotion and an action; it is all a commotion that basically says, “I am alive and I feel.”

This feeling of love is not just meant for our loved ones, the external version of our hearts. Instead, the most essential, the most required love, is self-love. 

The Hard Part 

The hardest part is completely understanding what you are acquiring in the first place and being willing to accept the journey as a whole. To be willing to dig. To be willing to ride that emotional wave alone. 

It is not an easy decision to choose to love yourself. I should know, I have ridden my fair share of emotional rides, that lonely road to self-love. The tracks are not well-lit, neither do their carts come with a GPS.

Instead, it is unpaved with occasional darkness and confusion, pain and doubt. The uncertainty could stop you before you even begin. I should know, I’ve been knocked down more times than I’d care to admit.

The hard part is accepting how necessary this love is, how powerful and beautiful and deep it is. Then the goal is adjusting your lifestyle to encompass the love you must have: YOUR love. 

What Self-Love Looks Like

The love you have for yourself, encompassed in your own beating heart and recognized in the acknowledgement and praise of your own existence awaits. 

It is the kind of visual phenomena that cannot be ignored. There’s an energy, an invisible force that moves within our lives that brings out the best in us. 

According to mental health professional, Arianna Smith, a psychotherapist with experience in trauma and supporting individuals with the difficulty of “love, she believes that self-love is the core belief of a person that they deserve love and respect in all things related to themselves. 

In order to identify what it looks like, she confirms that “one of the best ways to recognize if we are not giving ourselves love and respect is how we are treating our body, our mind, our heart, and our time.”  

That means the mobile and continuous commitment to treat yourself well. The expectations you may have for a partner is how you should demonstrate your love first. 

Self-love looks like the version of you that is complete, and happy and centered. 

One-on-One

At home, when the day is done and no one else is around, you are your own serenity, your own peace. You must be able to live with yourself, flaws and all, and accept who you are before you can expect anyone else to. 

Digging deep into the dynamics of self, the want and needs, the pet peeves and the goals that you wish to attain all makeup the core of a person. The thoughts, feelings, and actions all play a role in the functionality of someone. 

Loving yourself is a daily responsibility that cannot be pushed to the wayside. The challenge reaps more rewards than anyone else can give you.

The beauty of self-love is that the discovery of it is always yours to find. It will always be inside you, the ability to love you exactly the way you are, no matter the condition. There will always be the possibility that you can experience the rarest magic known to mankind.

For You and Only You

Here are some tips to better attend to yourself and unlock the hidden potential of who you are and who you want to be:

1. Be kind to yourself. Avoid slandering, doubting or downplaying YOURSELF. You don’t deserve it either! 
2. Pay attention to your goals because you set them for a reason, so don’t make excuses of why you CAN’T!
3. Treat yourself often. Take advantage of the simple luxuries of life and give them to YOURSELF. That dream vacation, expensive hobby or shopping spree? Do it!
4. Know your limitations, but challenge yourself anyway. No one knows you better than you know you, so don’t sell yourself short. 
5. Love yourself anyway. Through the mistakes you think you’ll regret, the days where the hurt is too great, or the hours where the ugly side wins, love yourself anyway. Defy the odds of the expected and shower YOURSELF with affection. 

The magic is already yours, the self-love gem already in your possession waiting to be unlocked. Honestly, you just have to want it enough because no one can do it for you.